5 years of servitude as Toft caterer and head of minor logistics and I am finally rewarded with my very own blog post. Today, dear reader, you find us at the Newbury and Berkshire show. Resplendent with cow parades, tractors, giant onions and astoundingly good ale and pork pies, it is one of the country's better agricultural shows. High points for me have been the final of the young farmers women's tug of war and Old Joe's Suicider. Low points have been finding out the Jaguar XK150 for sale opposite our stand is £65k and having to repeatedly pull the mannequins out of the sporadic downpours. I am sorry to report that one of our large bears got his paws slightly soggy, but will be brought to our hotel room tonight to dry out. If you have a soggy toft ted, or have just sponged them clean, let them dry in a warm place, but avoid radiators or hair driers as it makes them grizzly. Our first proof of the Toft pattern book is getting lots of love despite me spilling coffee on the cover this morning. Only three weeks to go until my wife is a published artist, I could not be more proud. I had better sign off before the boss finds my post abandoned, not that she gives me wages to dock. Doug Lord - guest blogger.